Tuesday, January 30, 2007


"It costs a lot of money to look this CHEAP!" Dolly Parton

My very first recollection of CHEAP THR!LL was filtered with a warped sense of camaraderie. “Wow,” I thought the first time I saw her, “she bought the same crappy skates that I did.” Like most, I had not been on skates since I was twelve, and was ignorant to the importance of such things as wheel, trucks, bearings, etc. I purchased the first pair of skates I found at a sporting goods store, and did they suck. It wasn’t until I actually upgraded into new skates that I discovered the true worth of using the right kind of equipment. I pointed this out to CHEAP, “I know,” she said, with an intent look on her face, “but these were the only ones I could afford. I’m saving up for a better pair.” It was an expression that I would become accustomed to seeing on her-one of resolution and grit.

CHEAP, like many others who first joined The Big Easy Rollergirls, was not the most proficient skater. Like everyone else, she struggled through cross-overs, maintaining her center of gravity and skating low, but unlike some, CHEAP skated non-stop. Her skills exploded! She kept posting on the BERG board for “free skates” at Airline Skate Center and skates in the park. At the time, The Big Easy Rollergirls were on their third wave of skaters. Katrina wiped out the first batch. The inaugural meeting where it was announced, “This is going to be a lot of work; it’s more than skating and looking good” wiped out the second batch. Those who had been in it since the beginning were getting tired; CHEAP injected a new brand of jubilance into the league. In a group of unknowns, CHEAP brought people together, whether it be for lunch after practice, swimming at her apartment complex, or skate practices on the side; she was always willing and ready to give it her all. When we practiced at the CAC in the summer of 2006, in their dusty, sweltering back room, I noticed CHEAP never griped. She was just grateful to be skating.

The first time I actually saw CHEAP outside of work (and without skates on) was when I stopped by The Louisiana Pizza Kitchen in the French Quarter for dinner. First off, she looked downright gorgeous without a helmet on (not that she doesn’t look fetching with one on, but when you get accustomed to seeing someone in 90 degree weather in full gear it throws your perspective off). CHEAP, of course, greeted me and my friend with great spirit and promptly showed us how she kept The BERG schedule cards by her work station so she could hand them out to customers. “I talk derby up as much as possible,” she proclaimed. If you knew CHEAP, you couldn’t help but notice her natural ease and charm with people, but it was the first time I witnessed it outside of our derby group. Customers of all backgrounds came into the restaurant and greeted her like a long lost friend. They asked what station she was working in so they could sit where she was. I could over hear her chatting with them, talking about derby, and frequently pointing me out to her customers as another “derby sister.” I was (and am) continually being impressed by CHEAP.

CHEAP, despite having a full-time job and going to school, was always willing to lend her valuable time to BERG. And she never complained. We were still in our beginning stage and every bit of help was crucial. Whether it was rockin’ the penalty wheel at One-Eyed Jacks for our very first fundraiser (not only did she “own” that wheel, but also gained a slew of new fans)

volunteering for a clean-up in City Park

washing cars to raise money

or lending her infectious personality to get up at 5AM to do a radio spot (The DJ was clearly taken with her, out of the number of skaters he saw at our press event, he specifically remembered her).

It was a no-brainer to elect her as out premier roller girl of the month.

As we got ready to prepare for our first bout, I shot CHEAP’s photo along with some other skaters for our bio page. The other skaters had it easier. Working in the August heat in New Orleans, I tried to keep the shoots as quick as possible. However, when CHEAP showed up, she attracted the immediate interest of children and animals. As always, CHEAP kept smiling.

When it came time to bout, CHEAP wowed everyone with her intense derby drive coupled with her admirable sense of fair play. She’s the first person to slam you down during a game and the first person to give you a hug afterward. And that belch….. well, it’s something you have to experience for yourself.

CHEAP THR!LL is loyal, dedicated to improving this world, hysterically funny and has this wicked kind of innocence that is so rare. To know her, is to love her. To get blocked by her on skates is to respect her. To count her as a friend, is to consider yourself very lucky.

Unfortunately, roller derby has its risks. Earlier this month, CHEAP broke her leg in three places.

Even in the emergency room, she continually cracked jokes throughout her ordeal (even managing to pop off some vulgar witticisms).

But without insurance, it has left our dear CHEAP with a tremendous amount of medical bills (and you thought college was expensive).

So, please join us, all day, this Wednesday, January 31st at The Louisiana Pizza Kitchen in CHEAP THR!LL’s honor. In the French Quarter at 95 French Market Pl. Her employers have generously agreed to donate 25% of their profits that day for CHEAP! See, this is the kind of benevolence she inspires!

I have always loved LPK, hands down they make the best shrimp caesar salad in the city. To view their fabulous menu, go here.


Come out, eat drink and don’t be cheap! You might even catch a fellow roller derby girl.

If you are unable to come out and enjoy some good food and drink, you can donate directly to CHEAP:

Donate to CHEAP


Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Our Fabulous Berg Women

Sophie Nuke’Em to be Crowned 2007 Queen of the Krewe of Mystick Newcombus

Calling all Daughters and Friends of the Cosmic Acorn to the Mystick Krewe of Newcombus Festivity for the amusement of



”By Invitation Only

A film by Rebecca Snedeker about gender, race, and old-line Carnival traditions

Screenings at 5 p.m. & 8 p.m.

Ms. Snedeker will introduce the film and take questions following each screening.
King cake tasting at 6:30 – 8 p.m.
Mystick Newcombus Ritual 7 p.m.
Thursday, January 25th.
Newcomb College Center for Research on Women
Caroline Richardson Hall, Newcomb College Campus
Tulane University
Kindly RSVP 504-865-5238

Newcomb College

And in more news...

Catch Vandal O'Riley's OTHER alter-ego, Veve laRoux

Vandal O'Riley will make an appearance as Veve laRoux, Bingomistress extraordinaire at New Orleans BINGO!
January 26th and 27th at the CAC's Freeport McMarran Theatre, 900 Camp St.
8 p.m.
Tickets are $15-$20

"Downtown New Orleans' favorite game-show cabaret returns for a night of weird music, movies, and prizes. Their retro-flavor tunes and showmanship recall a simpler time (when folks were totally nuts, it seems)." - Spin Magazine.

For more information go to:

The Bingo Show


Monday, January 22, 2007


to design their next t-shirt!

The winner will receive two tickets to each of our 3 remaining bouts, including our championship, and our rematch with Las Vegas. You will also receive, of course, a free t-shirt!

The Rules

1. You can submit as many designs as you like.
2. It must include the words, “Big Easy Rollergirls.”
3. It must be one color image in the form of a jpeg or pdf at 300 dpi.

The Big Easy Rollergirls’ art committee will choose from 3 of the submissions and then the entire league will vote.

You can submit your design to: galaxygrrl@bigeasyrollergirls.com

The Deadline is February 16th, so hurry it up!

Scared? Feeling nervous? Intimidated, perhaps?

-That’s impossible. Even for a computer.
-It’s not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they’re not much bigger than two meters.


Sunday, January 21, 2007

What Happens in Vegas...

What could be greater than a confrontation of vice vs. vice? On January 12th, The Big Easy Rollergirls descended on Las Vegas, making roller derby history for New Orleans, when they embarked on their first inter league play against the Sin City Rollergirls as members of the Women's Flat Track Derby League.

The roster included:
Captain: Cherry Pi
Co-Captain: Bessie Smithereens
Team Manager: CHEAP THR!LL
Team: Crusty McKnuckle
Little Mascara
Mace M. Dixon
Marquee de Squad
Trixie la Femme
Sophie Nuke ‘Em
Victoria Von Doom
Ibeatya Amber
Wit Vicious
Shay Bay
Refs: Henry Roll-ins & Beatrix sKiddo
Announcers: Nutty McGillacuddy & Right Reverande Psych Ward
Merch/PR: SmasHer

Buck Wild, who was unable to attend because of a family emergency, was greatly missed. The Big Easy Rollergirls and crew send her their warmest wishes.

With their skate bags in one hand, and airline tickets in the other, The Big Easy Rollergirls generated interest before their flight even took off. By the time the plane landed, the rollergirls had a whole new legion of fans. But, a lot of that can be contributed to the irresistible charm of Trixie la Femme and the interest peaked by McGillacuddy’s top hat.

After an unusually long wait for their luggage and the mysterious disappearance of their rental vans (the delays only made them homesick) BERG met up with the Sin City Rollergirls at a local bar for pizza.

Despite a crowded flight, numerous delays, freezing cold weather AND being in a sports bar, all of BERG abstained from drinking (albeit the announcers and PR, who were not under the same stringent training regime).

Once at their hotel, Fitzgerald’s, Bessie and Mascara kicked off their inaugural trip by gambling, and winning! Taking this as a sign of their guaranteed victory, the girls trekked to their rooms amidst miles of flashing lights and ringing bells and settled in for the night.

Mascara celebrates!

Bessie blows for good luck

The next morning, these Southern Belle Bombshells, not used to the cold, went on a desperate search for warmer clothes. Vegas’s cold front was an anomaly and most stores were sold out of gloves, hats and scarves. Crusty, the glove goddess, sought out and found gloves for almost the entire team.

Meanwhile, Marquee, Wit, Shay, SmasHer, Sophie, Jaws and Henry Roll-ins went to captains, Ivanna S. Pankin and Trish the Dish’s house for spagetthi breakfast (yes, you read correctly, spaghetti for breakfast) and for a possible shake down of inside information (which, sadly did not happen, but they did get to admire all of their cool derby posters). Afterward, these lucky rollergirls got to experience what only most rollergirls dream of- the backroom of a skate shop. Ivanna and Trish, co-owners of Sin City Skates, opened up their store for BERG, to which BERG took full advantage.

Beatrix finds a new friend

Marquee in a state of bliss

Shay can't believe her good fortune

Jaws and her glorious booty

Later that day, in the 30-degree temperature, Big Easy and Sin City gathered at the outdoor track, Flamingo Banks, for their skate showdown.

von Doom

Marquee gets ready to talk some trash


A small but faithful crowd of fans gathered. Big Easy had an impressive turnout. Wit had fans from New Orleans, Cherry Pi and Crusty from Los Angeles, Trixie from San Diego (her cousin, a fellow roller derby babe, Atom Eve from The San Diego Derby Dolls – must run in the family). Other derby girls from Reno came out to see BERG play.

Crusty's mom & friend!

The Las Vegas team played three periods of twenty minutes. Cherry Pi was injured in the first period and had to sit out the rest of the game. Ibeatya Amber was injured in the third period and had to sit out the remainder. Sophie Nuke ‘Em took some really hard blows and kept on playing. Little Mascara stepped up and subbed for Cherry and Ibeatya, with Mace, von Doom and Shay filling in as well. Bessie delivered some hard hits that sent some of Sin City’s finest into the crowds. Shay did a superlative job of controlling the pack. Wit, as usual, skated “in the zone” and Mace earned new fans with the crowd chanting, “She blocks, she hits, she jams; is there nothing Mace can’t do?”

Cherry & Ivanna

von Doom shoulders a hit from Trish

Ms. Kitt Fisto


Mace sprints ahead

Cherry lends a hand to Ibeatya


Sophie breaks from the pack!

Wit & Bessie block

Trixie flies away

Wit goes after Kitt

Crusty & Pirate bump shoulders

Shay keeps them back

Bessie & Wit share the penalty box

Beatrix keeps her eye on the game

Bruce Killie & Mascara battle it out

von Doom works the pack

The announcers did a fabulous job of keeping the crowd informed and in stitches. Evidently, it is a rarity in Vegas to see a man in a top hat and another in a linen suit tossing beads (you would think that wouldn’t be that rare).

The Reverande

Team Manager, CHEAP TR!LL stated it was a beautiful show of derby sister love when Trixie used her teeth to tear open Mascara’s leggings to examine her rink rash.
CHEAP calls the plays

Despite BERG’s valiant effort, Sin City’s lethal combination of incredibly hard hits from Pirate, impressive booty blocking from Go Go Distrukito, pivoting from Trish and Ivanna, and killer jamming from Bruce Killis, Kit Fisto and Pearly Gates, Sin City spanked the vice out of the Big Easy Girl 192-63. Yet, with Sin City’s infinite knowledge, they had the foresight to award Trixie la Femme MVP for her uncanny ability to disappear into a pack and emerge from the other side.

BERG & Sin City Share the Love!

After the game, despite being bruised and barely thawed, they had a brief interlude at a local bar and then The Big Easy Rollergirls' main mission was to cheer on their home team, the Saints.

Henry Roll-ins


Shane & Wit

CHEAP helps out Bruce Killis

CHEAP obliges a fan

Bessie & Beatrix

Trish, Ivana, Captain Cherry & MVP Trixie

Cherry, Jaws, Beatrix, Bessie, Ibeatya, Trixie, Mascara, Bessie, McGillacuddy & the Reverande descended upon Caesar’s Palace. After the Saints victory, the crew second-lined out of Caesar’s to the tune of “Oh when the Saints (when the Saints) Go marching in (go marching in).” They accomplished two impressive feats: 1. Leaving the Philly fans speechless. 2. Shutting down the card games. The dealers were so terrified of our rowdy rollergirls that they actually held their cards.

Meanwhile, Mace, von Doom, Sophie, SmasHer & Henry caught the game at The Golden Nugget, equally silencing the fans with their already hoarse voices and unbridled vivacity.

The 4 Queens: Sophie, von Doom, Mace, SmasHer

Mace celebrates

Afterward, The Big Easy Girls and Sin City Girls met up at Hogs & Heifers for a celebration consisting of drinking and dancing ( in and on unusual places). Unfortunately, due to the Big Easy Rollergirls strict PG-13 rating, none of these photos are eligible for posting. (Many of the Big Easy Rollegirls are breathing easier because of this policy).

The next morning, BERG took advantage of their few hours left in the city of lights. Ibeatya, Beatrix, SmasHer, Reverande, Henry, von Doom & CHEAP took in the 2,000 hand-blown glass flowers – the Flori di Como- by Dale Chihuly and lovely promenade at The Bellagio and then enjoyed a walk on the strip to The Bodies Exhibition at the Tropicana.

Henry saves valuable time by shaving on The Strip

CHEAP & Ibeatya catch some zen

Ibeatya, Beatrix, Reverande, von Doom, Henry


Other BERG members took this time to socialize with Sin City girls or catch the football game.

While the Big Easy Rollergirls thoroughly enjoyed their visit to Las Vegas and were grateful for the hospitality of The Sin City Rollergirls, they were happy to be home and back in training for the rematch on their home turf, Saturday, May 19th.

Watch out Vegas, your luck will soon run out!